Reclaiming Your Voice: Healing from People Pleasing and Boundary Collapse

There is a quiet exhaustion that comes from always being the one who says yes.

Yes to helping. Yes to smoothing things over. Yes to being what others need.

If you’ve learned to prioritize others at the expense of yourself you are not alone. This pattern often begins in places where love felt conditional or where safety depended on being agreeable.

People pleasing is not a personality flaw. It is a survival strategy. It is the nervous system’s way of protecting connection when connection felt fragile. It is the body’s way of saying I will do whatever it takes to stay safe.

What People Pleasing Might Feel Like

You might notice:

• Saying yes when you mean no

• Feeling guilty for setting limits

• Overexplaining or apologizing for having needs

• Feeling resentful or depleted after interactions

• Struggling to identify what you actually want

These patterns are not signs of weakness. They are signs of adaptation. Your system learned to prioritize others to avoid conflict, rejection or abandonment. That wisdom deserves respect. Healing begins when we bring compassion to the parts of you that learned to disappear and facilitate a new way forward.

How I Support Boundary Repair

In our work together we explore boundaries not as rules but as relationships. They help you stay connected to yourself while remaining open to others.

My approach integrates Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), developed by Dr. Diana Fosha, PhD, and Somatic Attachment Psychotherapy, developed by Dr. Lisa Mortimore, PhD. This means:

• We move slowly to honor your nervous system’s need for safety

• We notice how boundary collapse shows up in the body

• We practice saying no and honouring your voice

• We explore how to stay in connection without abandoning yourself

Therapy is not about becoming rigid. It is about becoming rooted. It is about learning that your needs matter and your voice is welcome.

Change is Possible

If you are tired of over-functioning or feeling invisible I want you to know that change is possible. You do not have to earn your worth. You do not have to explain your no. You are allowed to take up space.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you sense whether this space feels right for you. Whether you are just beginning to explore therapy or returning after time away you are welcome here.